I’ve got to say that one of my worst pet peeves with other parents  is when someone with only 1 boy or no boys tries to tell me “Oh I totally understand how boys can be”.

NO YOU DON’T.  You really, really don’t.

Unless you have only boys (and you have to have more than 1), you have absolutely no idea what it’s like.  You may have 1 boy, or 1 girl and 1 boy, or 2 girls, or whatever….but if you don’t have at least 2 boys, please stop telling me you understand what life if like with them.  I don’t pretend to understand what a mom of only girls goes thru everyday.  I don’t pretend to understand what it’s like to have 1 boy and 1 girl.  I can sort of understand what it’s like to only have 1 boy, but that didn’t last long for us.

Anyhow, let me show you a glimpse of what it’s like to be the mom of 2 boys :

• On any given day and at any given moment, I am telling one of them to leave their penis alone.
• About 3,000 times a day I ask them to stop wrestling with one another.
• You can find a rock and/or stick collection in at least 2 rooms of my house.
• Boys love their mommies.   I get a lot of cuddles.  Yes, they want to be like Daddy one day-but they come to Mommy for just about everything.
• 2,000 times a day I ask them to stop zooming cars under my feet while I’m in the kitchen.
• At any given moment there is at least 2 stains on their body or clothes.
• The smell of urine is in your bathroom, no matter how many times you clean the room.
• Toys almost always become weapons….a pencil, a toilet paper roll, and yes, even their penis can and will transform into a “sword”.
• 1,000 times a  day I tell them to stop doing what they are doing before they hurt each other or break something.
•  Things you never dreamed could be climbed, WILL be climbed.  I still remember the first time I spotted my youngest SCALING the pantry-and my oldest was cheering him on!  My heart nearly shot out of my mouth.
• If there is silence while they are “playing”, be scared…very scared.
• Clothes…nice clothes?  Forget about it…new jeans last about 5 minutes before there are holes in the knees.
• Get used to farts and burps….that is all, just get used to them.
• LEGOs are everywhere and I mean everywhere…in the couch cushions, in the laundry hamper, in the vacuum, in their beds, in the toilet….everywhere.
• They never stop moving….even when they are sitting, they are still moving and shooting funny faces at each other.
• Boys together have 2 volumes, loud and louder.
• Giggling you hear is normally the result of a burp or fart or someone using the word butt.

Am I upset I only have boys? Absolutely NOT.  They are my boys and I adore them. I can’t imagine my life with any other kids.  I tell them every day that if I could pick any 4 and 6 year old in the whole world, I would always pick them to be my kids. Even with the dirt, bruises, tantrums, etc….they are full of life and full of love and they make me complete.  And I kind of think burps and farts are funny too.

 

 

 

Merry Christmas from my whole family at Momondealz!

 We hope you and yours have a wonderful day with your family and friends and we’ll see you back here tomorrow for all of those amazing after Christmas clearance sales!

As many of us know, parenting is an emotional roller coaster that keeps going and going and going and becomes a ride we can look back on and see the hills and valleys and cry over both.  Yes, cry.  There are happy tears, amazed tears, sad tears and every kind of tear in between.  I used to make fun of one of my friends who would cry over silly things about being a mom, until I became a parent…and a crybaby.  I have probably gotten tears in my eyes at least 3 times this week over being a mom. I actually even bawled at a parenting article this week about an organization for parents called “Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep”.

At any rate, I thought, why not share my tears of parenthood?   Perhaps other parents can relate and maybe I can shed some light into parenthood for the people who like to joke about us teary eyed moms.

Tears of Parenthood:

• Tears of Frustration: My boys are ALL boy.  They have boundless energy and their talking skills are off the chain.  I have cried many tears of frustration in the 5 years of being a “boy mom”. Most recently over our first shattered window.  My youngest threw a toy and shattered the window.  Needless to say a $200 glass replacement was not in our budget this month!  Frustration can be from many things though and it first started for me when my oldest was a baby and had terrible reflux and nursing abilities.  Tears of frustration are present in parenthood from the very first days.

 

• Tears of Laughter:  The first days of being a parent are very emotional; hormones are everywhere and not exactly even keyed!  When our first son was born, diaper changing provided a lot of laughter!  My husband just could not believe that something so little could make so many messes and ruin so many outfits.  I remember my youngest peeing in the mouth of my oldest and being MORTIFIED.  I was so freaked out I called the doctor to make sure he would be ok! But then shortly after, I found myself laughing hysterically until I cried.  There have been so many more instances of laughter since that moment.  The most recent was the other night at bedtime when we were having my 5 year old read a book to us.  He got the words “knees” and pronounced it “k-nees”.  I have no idea why it struck my husband and I as so hiliarious, but we laughed and laughed until we had tears of laughter.

 

• Tears of Sadness:  You may wonder how you can be sad being a parent, but it’s possible.   Seeing your child hurt in any way creates sadness.  Whether it’s their first set of stitches, their first fever, or their first hurt feeling, you WILL cry tears of sadness for your child.  Becoming a parent also gives you a sense of compassion for other parents you never imagined feeling.  Seeing parents lose a child was a sad thing before I had kids, but now that I am a mother, the feeling almost brings me to my knees.  That type of sadness is just unimaginable to me.

 

• Tears of A Job Well Done:  Being a parent is not a huge confidence booster and often a thankless job. You wonder every single day if you are doing things right and question your decisions and actions constantly.  The game of comparison parenting can also destroy you.  But there are moments that you know you are doing it right-that the job is done well.  Moments when you hear your youngest say to your oldest “Good job Will!” or when out of the blue (you may even be sitting on the toilet) your 3 year old comes up to you and says, “Thank you Mommy for making my favorite breakfast”.  Or having your son run over and help a friend get up after they have tripped.  Whether they boys have the best behavior all the time (or not), seeing glimpses of the men they will become and the caring they will show, allow a tear of a job well done to slip down your cheek

 

• Tears of Anger: These are different from tears of frustration because these tears come from much deeper inside of a parent.  They may occasionally come out when your child REALLY messes up (or messes up in the SAME way for the millionth time), but they mostly come from me when someone hurts my child or I see another child being hurt.  The old term “Mama Bear” is true.  You mess with my child and you mess with me. I have definitely gotten so angry as a parent that I have cried.

 

• Tears of Amazement/Accomplishment:  From the moment my sons were born and every moment in between, they truly amaze me.  Whether it’s their boundless energy, their lack of noise level skills, or more major milestones, I just love seeing them accomplish things and have their personalities shine.  I cried in amazement at their perfection at birth, I cried when they accomplished crawling, walking, eating solid foods, writing their names, and most recently when my oldest rode his bike with no training wheels.

 

• Tears of Innocence:  Each day I walk my child to the door of his elementary school and every day he looks in the crowd of students hoping to see a classmate.  Yesterday he spotted one and ran over to grab his hand to walk in the building.  A simple thing such as this brought tears to my eyes.  I love that he is so passionate about others and still so innocent to grab another boy’s hand to walk in a building.  He is young enough to not even give this a second thought.  At what point will he lose that innocence and think holding hands with friends is “not cool”?  At what point will he ask me to stop walking him to the door?  I hope never…but since I have already been asked to not kiss him in front of school anymore, I am guessing this loss of innocence is coming shortly-so Mommy will again cry…

 

 

Home Appliance Buying Guide: Cordless Iron

While ironing is considered to be somewhat of a chore, there is simply no better way to maintain our wardrobe. A cordless iron is a great home appliance that is perfect for those who want to all the time. While this may be a slightly new idea for those who are used to the more traditional models, we should appreciate the benefits of this variant. Thanks to the Internet, there are a number of useful online reviews that rate the top models which are available. From the point of view of the consumer, what are some of the best tips to keep in mind when purchasing this device?
 
Charging Capacity
 
One of the issues with any cordless product is the fact that it will need to be charged sooner or later. Of course, this can present a problem when we suddenly find that we must tackle a considerably large load of laundry. So, any such iron should offer at least two hours of operating capacity.
 
The Number of Heat Settings
 
Different fabrics will obviously require equally unique heat settings. Some cordless irons are slightly lacking in this department. It is a good idea to make sure that the iron in question can accommodate for such, polyester, cotton and wool. This will allow ironing to be a breeze and you can be certain that even the most delicate of items will not be damaged. Finally, a steam setting is also quite necessary flatten stubborn wrinkles.
 
Safety
 
Any device that operates with the use of a battery can be a hazard if it is poorly constructed. A good percentage of rechargeable batteries contain lithium and this chemical can ignite or even explode if it comes into contact with water. So, all seals within the iron should be reliable and the entire device needs to be certified for safe operation by the relevant authorities.
 
These cordless marvels can take the hassle out of even the most challenging of ironing jobs. Understanding these basic points will enable you to make the most informed decisions possible.

*In partnership with Sandy Cretz*

As many of you know, I used to teach in public school.  Since having my 2nd son, I have been a stay at home mom and savored every minute of being at home with my boys and raising them, loving them, and being with them.  And as those annoying moms used to tell me, it really does fly by and leave you wondering “What happened?!?”

As I send my oldest son to kindergarten I worry about the normal things moms worry about.  I am already crying while I pack his book bag and label his supplies.  I broke out the baby book and did some updates a few nights ago ( can you believe I tortured myself doing that too this week?!).  I have been out and shopped for back to school clothes.  I’ve spent some time on Pinterest looking for first day picture ideas and ways to prepare my son for the first day.  But what about preparing me?!  I feel like I worry about the normal stuff parents think about before sending off their kids to school.  But as a former teacher, I worry about MORE.  I know what the first days of school entail.  I know how first impressions can mold the rest of the school year-shoot, they can mold teachers’ views of my child for his entire elementary career!  I know how teachers think.  I know how teachers talk about students to other teachers.  I know too much…and I worry.

I worry about :

• Will my son make a good first impression?
• Will he listen and learn the routines?
• Will his teacher love him or will he be labeled “that kid”?
• Will his teacher get past his excessive talking to see how smart he is?
• Will his classmates like him or will he be the one the teacher has to defend?
• Will he be the one his teachers hope has frequent sick days?
• Will his teachers assess his skills correctly and put him in the right reading groups?
• Will his teachers have centers that will interest and challenge him?
• Will he grasp long and short vowels and fractions and time?
• Will he go to the bathroom to actually use the bathroom and not be one of those boys who have toilet paper fights, pee swords, or clogging toilet episodes (yes as a teacher I experienced all of these).
• Will he stay in his seat and not disrupt class?
• Will his teachers acknowledge that he’s bored when she is teaching things I have already taught him?
• Will he be a leader or a follower?
• Will his teacher send home work and keep a line of good communication with me?
• Will his teacher recognize that my frequent presence in the room is to help, not to bother?
• Will my son love his teacher?
• Will his teacher love him?
• Will my son love learning at school as much as he does at home?

 

So as the worries keep me up some nights, I know I have to let go.  I have to trust in how I’ve raised my son, and be secure in the qualities and decision making skills I have tried to instill in him.  I have to trust that God will place him in a teacher’s room who is trained to uphold high standards and who will love him as I loved my past students.  Who will treat him equally and fairly.  As I send my child to kindergarten I worry, but I also trust.  And I know.  I know I will be my child’s advocate and his teacher’s teammate.  I know I will be present in his education and in his school.  I know my son will love kindergarten and I know he will survive-and that his mommy will too.

Father’s Day is this weekend and with it brings a flood of emotions.  I am so grateful for the father my husband is to our children.  I am thankful for the way my stepfather has stepped up to be a father figure in my life and a “Pop Pop” for my children.  But Father’s Day is still a very hard day for me.

Yesterday we were in Target picking out cards for all the Fathers in our lives and my 3 year old asked “Mommy, why is there a girl on that card if we’re getting boy cards?”   I didn’t even think about the card’s meaning,  I simply replied, “Because some mommies need to be daddy too”.  He cocked his little innocent head to the side and said, “A Mommy can’t be a Daddy”.  I replied, “Oh honey, sometimes they have to be.  When Mommy was little she made Father’s Day cards for your Mommom because she was my Mommy and my Daddy”.  By that time he had noticed his brother had more goldfish than him so his attention was gone.  But I was immediately taken back to my first Father’s Day without my Daddy.  It was art class and time for us to make Father’s Day cards.  I sat with my classmates as they excitedly drew pictures and wrote sweet messages they hoped their dads would love.  Meanwhile, I had no idea what to do.  My dad had died just a few month before and all I could think about was how I didn’t want my friends to see the tears welling up and spilling over in my lap.  Luckily my long hair covered them up.  Then, my art teacher came over and saved me.

My art teacher appeared at my side, touching my arm gently.  I grew up in a very small town so she knew what was happening.  She consoled me and suggested that since my Mommy now did things that my Daddy had once done, that maybe I would like to make her a Father’s Day card.  She has no idea how much this affected me for the rest of my life.  I learned at the early age of 10 that my mom was a hero, the glue that held our little family together.  She was (and is) strong in so many ways and for years to come after that day in art class, she had to step up and be Daddy in many situations.

Years later I taught in a low income school where many of the children had absentee fathers.  The lesson my art teacher gave me helped me deal with Father’s Day in the classroom.  Whether a Mom, an Uncle, Family friend, or neighbor, I helped my students realize that you didn’t have to be a Father to be a Father figure.  I was able to help them create appreciation gifts that showed others their importance, but that also helped the children to know there were people out there to care about them.  That you can survive Father’s Day with no Daddy.

So on this Father’s Day, if you’re lucky enough to have a Daddy-love him.  Hug him. Appreciate him. And if your Daddy has passed, has chosen to be absent, find the person who has shown you love and stepped up in the father figure role and love them. Hug them. Appreciate them. And if you know someone without a Daddy, give them a hug too.  They are missing their Daddy and are probably looking for someone to love. To hug. To appreciate.

I have 2 friends right now who recently had babies and who each also have a 2 or 3 year old at home, and they are going through a rough time.  What mom in this situation doesn’t?  I remember how tough it was in the beginning trying to balance breastfeeding, diaper changes, and late nights, but still trying to give your toddler adequete mommy time.  It’s TOUGH!  So to all those new moms in this situation, I give you this:

Dear Mom of a newborn +1,

I see you in the park struggling to push the stroller and keep your toddler from running too far ahead and I remember.  I remember the desperation of wanting my toddler to just listen, to understand that Mommy is exhausted.  I remember wondering what the other moms were thinking (or saying) about my inadequecy of handling  2 kids in public.  I remember wanting to just pack everyone and everything back up in the car and go home, where I can hide from my imagined failures.

I want to run up and hug you and tell you it WILL GET BETTER.  But I know that will make you probably want to hit me, or squirt the leaking breast milk in my face to shut me up.  I want to tell you that I have been through what you’re going through and that really, moms with one child just will never understand. Yes, they have their breakdowns and tough moments-but they will never understand the struggle of balancing a newborn and a toddler at the same time.  They will never understand how heart wrenching it is to see your toddler’s face drop when the newborn starts to cry as soon as you finally get to sit and do a puzzle with the “big brother”.  How helpless you feel while nursing the baby when you look over to see your toddler making the biggest mess in the history of messes just because they are so desperate for your attention.

But I promise, this will pass!  Soon you’ll figure out a schedule of nursing, feeding, playing, diapering, and napping.  You WILL!  Notice I didn’t add laundry and cleaning to that list-that will come later…and having dinner ready at dinner time, well that’s why God invented take out.  And don’t worry,  you’ll also learn to carve out time in order to have special moments with each child and you’ll learn to savor them and rejoice that the hell you went through is over (well at least for that stage).